These days I’m trying to be more conscious of the media I consume. The blogs I read, the music I listen to, the content I watch on television. I find that these things have a direct effect on my state of mind, and I must be ruthless in filtering what goes in and out of my mind in the same way I watch what I eat and drink.

As much as I love mindless gossip, fuckery, and low brow entertainment, I’ve found that these things aren’t contributing much to my consciousness. In fact, it detracts from because it sucks up time that I could be using to read, watch, and listen to things that would contribute to my personal development, feed my mind, and entertain while informing me at the same time.

Bad media is just like eating junk food. It’s so good initially…but the aftertaste and the impact on your waistline and overall health is really bad. I know I sound snobby, but I have to be relentless in watching what I consume. I can spend my free time and energy doing things that will fulfill me rather than getting a temporary crack sugar high from bad media.

Will I still read gossip blogs? I’ll likely take a peek every once in awhile. Will I continue watching the Real Housewives franchise? I’m not removing it my DVR. But I’ll spend more time reading Think Simple Now, Elev8, or even MadameNoire (a site for black women that isn’t gossipy). I’ll watch more food and design shows rather than cat fights and bitch fests. In fact, I’ll get back to reading books more than watching television in the first place. I won’t totally give up my media junk food diet, but I’ll consume less of it.

So talk to me, people. How much junk food media do you take in? Do you care how much (or how little) you take in? Do you try to filter?

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This song has been stalking me for the past 36 hours. My boyfriend played it yesterday on his iPod…then I watched the video you Youtube…then it randomly came on my Pandora this morning while I was driving to work. Coincidence? No. I believe in listening to those little signs that come your way. The universe clearly thinks I need to hear it…and that it should inspire me to do something about my current circumstance.

My circumstance is that I’m meant to work for myself, but I’m too afraid to quit my job and fully dedicate myself to operating my business. I’m afraid because I’ve been conditioned by my family and society to have “a real job,” and work for someone else until I retire at age 65. My heart’s desire directly conflicts with everything I’ve been taught my entire life. My heart, mind, and spirit crave creativity, freedom and flexibility TODAY, not in 35 years.

I’ve attempted to strike a balance between my heart’s desire and practicality. I’ve begun building a business on the side while working full-time, which is no small feat. My business could grow more effectively if it weren’t for that got-darn full time job! That got-darn full time job that I depend on to pay my bills and keep a roof over my head and food in my stomach. That got-darn job that I need to survive.

That got-darn job that’s not very stable in and of itself…that could be taken away from me subject to the company’s whim. To my company I’m just a number in a cubicle, not a person. If they fire me and I’m out on the street starving, it doesn’t matter because they will have managed their bottom line by saving money on overhead.

So when am I gonna get up? I’m gonna keep building my business. Whatever happens with the full time job just happens. I don’t know what the outcome will be….but whatever happens is according to God’s will. I believe my heart’s desire is already fulfilled, and that it will pan out accordingly.

When you gon get up?

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One of the best things about having natural hair is that you don’t have to be worry about sweating your hair out when it’s hot, and water is your your hair’s friend instead of the enemy. But when the temperature goes up, the heat can dry out your hair and make it looked parched and thirsty. Especially in desert climates like Los Angeles, where it feels like a sauna in the summer (as opposed to humid climates where its more like a steam room, natural/curly hair loves moisture).

I want to share my personal techniques for dealing with dry, thirsty hair. Note that I have 3c type curls that shrink up when I do a wash and go, so I usually braid, twist, or roller set my hair until its completely dry, then I undo and go.

• Seal in moisture with olive oil or coconut oil every night

• Wear my hair in a protective style (a bun or an updo) when I’m going to be outdoors for long periods

• Do a conditioner rinse every 4-5 days (I usually wash my hair every 7-10 days)

• Keep your hands out of your hair! It may seem like common sense but constantly touching/playing with your hair contributes to frizz.

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Embellished cardigans are so adorable to me – they remind me of those rich older ladies who are unafraid to wear sequins and embellishment during the day. You know the ones…big hair, cool glasses and jewelry…their style borders tacky but somehow it works. Now that I think of it, that will probably be me in 35 years!

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I don’t drink hard liquor much these days, but I’ve been sipping on sangria for the past several weekends. It’s such a tasty and refreshing summer drink, I love it so much I’ve deemed every Sunday of the summer “Sangria Sundays.” There are a ton of ways to make sangria, but here’s my take on it…

Ingredients

• 1 bottle of red wine
• Random fruit, chopped into bite size pieces (I prefer apples, peaches, and mangos)
• 1/4 cup simple syrup
• Juice from 2 limes
• Ice

Directions

Throw it all into a pitcher, stir, and let sit for a few hours. Letting the mixture sit is a very important part of the process, as this allows the juice from the fruit to infuse the wine…try eating the fruit after drinking, it heightens the experience!

Image Source: Arizona Foothills Magazine

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Jodeci is one of my all time favorite R&B bands, too bad they got destroyed by music industry demons. I’ve read that they’re coming out with a reality show (who doesn’t have a reality show these days?) about Jodeci’s comeback, but let’s keep it real. The time has passed. They’re better off dropping a greatest hits album and doing 90s reunion shows. We’ll always have Forever My Lady, Diary of a Mad Band, and The Show, The After Party, The Hotel to remind us of those classic Jodeci moments. Remember when Jodeci guest starred on Martin? Classic Martin episode!

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Dom Kennedy’s latest album From the Westside with Love is in heavy rotation on my ipod. The album dropped a few months back, but I’ve only recently given it a thorough listen. And I’m glad I did! For those unfamiliar with Dom, he’s an independent artist based here in Los Angeles. If you haven’t heard of him, you will soon, because dude is on the come up. His music is super dope, dude definitely has mass appeal. From the Westside with Love is female friendly, but not too soft to where a guy wouldn’t like it. Dom has a smooth flow reminiscent of Bun B and Fabolous (lofty comparisons but when you listen to the album you’ll see what I mean). Click the link below to download. Don’t say I never gave you nothing!

Download here

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We each have the power to dispel negativity. Stop it dead in its tracks! Granted, this is easier said than done, especially when someone’s negativity makes you angry. But really, it comes down to making the conscious decision to not engage negativity, and respond to it from a place of love. Although a person may direct negativity toward you, most of the time it’s not really about you. It’s an emotional trap used for the purpose to suck you in, hurt you, and bring you down. While you might have been the trigger, negativity is an individual’s personal feelings about something, which cannot be controlled by another individual. You can only control your own responses. Your ego might drive us to stoop down to that person’s level, but you should choose grace instead.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get mad if someone comes at you foul. Never be a doormat to anyone! It’s unrealistic to not get mad if someone insults or berates you about something. It’s healthy to acknowledge your true feelings about something. Acknowledge it, get mad, get pissed off, yell, curse, do what you gotta do. Just get it out of your system!  Then make peace with it, and send the negative inflicter love and positivity. Doing this will stop negativity  dead in its tracks and cause it to die.

If you find yourself dishing out negativity, catch yourself and figure out why you’re doing it. Find the root cause of your feelings and deal with it before you project them on to someone else. This is something even the most positive person has to deal with at times, it’s just a part of the human experience. Just own your feelings, and deal with them accordingly! I find that affirmations help me to deal with negative feelings I may be harboring. One of my favorite affirmations is “I am poised and powerful, my greatest expectations are realized in a miraculous way.” [ from Florence Scovel Shinn's book Game of Life]

So tell me..how do you deal when negativity is directed at you? What do you do when you find yourself directing negativity at others?

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I listen to music all day while I’m working. It gets me through those long days in the trenches, slanging advertising space. It’s not much different from any other hustle, but I digress.

I mostly listen to hip hop at work. Some days I listen to jazz, soulful house, funk, or alternative…but I default to good old fashioned  hip hop. I’ve found that there are certain songs and artists that are appropriate to listen to while at work, and others that aren’t. I’ve been known to throw a side eye or two at people after listening to certain songs. Like…

1. Too Short – “Blow The Whistle”

Its nice to feel like a pimp, especially when I’m slanging advertising inventory. But the pimp vibe tends to go too far when I catch myself singing aloud “what’s my favorite word? [biatch] gotta say it like short [biatch].”

2. Lil Jon “Bia, Bia”

The ultimate fight song, which makes me feel like randonmly tossing my desk throwing a stapler at the idiot who took my stuff off the printer. WHOTHEFUCKGRABBEDMYSHITOFFTHEPRINTER!?!?! Bia, Bia!

3. Ice Cube “What Should I Do? (Taadow)

Listening to Ice Cube at work makes me angry at the system, even when if nothing in particular has happened to piss me off. Annoying coworker coming at me with another bad joke? “I don’t have time to listen to your insipid humor while my people are suffering from institutionalized discrimation.” One run of “AmeriKKKas Most Wanted” will do it to you, especially on a Monday morning.

4. Bonecrusher “Never Scared”

That supervisor working my nerves? Shut down. “Never Scared” may cause someone to get cursed the hell out (in professional speak, of course).

5. Anything by Tupac

‘Pac’s music stirs the inner revolutionary in all of us. Listen to one go ’round of the Pac playlist at work and you may end up walking out that piece and not coming back.

Speak on it…are there any songs/artists that you avoid when you’re in work mode? Share!

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